ANXIETY IN RAMADHAN

O Alllah, why am I like this
I am different from everyone else
Every time Your Ramadhan approaches
They welcome it joyfully
They look happy indeed
However, I am different
The arrival of Ramadhan is full of sadness
It is not that I loathe Your month
which is full of blessings and barokah
But I loathe my own self
I feel anxious in Your Ramadhan
That I do not fill it as well as I should
I feel that my fasting is imperfect
Please forgive me, O Allah
I feel that my prayers are not valid
My taraweeh, my Quranic recitation
Are nothing to shout about
O Allah, these are the things that occupy  my heart
Every time Ramadhan appears
Is that wrongful?
Please pardon me O Allah
Please forgive me O Allah
If that is wrongful
Please guide me
please correct my attitude
O Allah, that is what has been troubling my heart
Every time Ramadhan appears
I seek Your Forgiveness O Allah.

ABU MUHAMMAD